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Unpopular Day - Transcript
opens with Lydia applying lip-gloss and Henry snacking on chips on the couch. Lydia: Ew, get your stinking leg off my gorgeous legs! Henry: Are you sure it's not YOUR legs under mine? Lydia: HENRY MARBLE! Henry: Ok fine. Lydia: Thank you. Now, let me apply my lip gloss in peace! Henry: Lip gloss? Okay, why would you even need that? We're going to school, not a beauty pageant. Lydia: Henry, if you actually cared about your looks, you would understand my situation. Henry: Men don't even wear lip-gloss! Lydia: Are you even a man? Henry: I said...MEN, not MAN. Lydia: You're pathetic. Marble walks down the stairs. Mrs Marble: Kids! Lydia: Mom wants you! Sounds important. Henry: She wants BOTH of us. Lydia: Does she? Mrs Marble: Henry & Lydia Marble! rolls her eyes. Henry: Yeah, Mom, what do you want? Mrs Marble: Why is there a tube sock in my pile of books? Lydia: Told you she wanted you. Mrs Marble: And a whole container of foundation in my pile of clothes? Henry: Yeah, right. Lydia: Um, hey! It could be yours, right? I mean, you wear make-up too! Henry: She does? Mrs Marble: "Lydia's Makeup Property. Do not touch." Lydia: Oops. Henry: The eagle calls and the lil chick's goin down. Lydia: Hey, I did say "do not touch." So, you touched it, that's on you. Mrs Marble: I'm just saying, now that we moved to a new town, why can't we just live normally! As in, both my kids being mature enough to differentiate right from wrong? Lydia: To be fair, I'm turning 13 this year. I'm still new to this whole "maturing teenager" thing. Henry: Exactly! So start now! Lydia: Oh, because you just LOVE butting into others' business. Henry: I wouldn't have to if you were actually throwing sense into your words! Lydia: Oh, you want sense? I'll give you "cents"! grabs a whole ceramic jug of ancient coins and throws them all over Henry. Henry picks up a few and they continue throwing coins at each other. Mrs Marble: ENOUGH! For once, can't you guys just behave? I don't know how your teachers here are going to deal with you, but you'd better not give them a hard time. Henry, you're turning 16 this year. You're not new to this whole teenage thing. Lydia, you'd better start learning to behave. I don't want any funny business once you kids step out of this door. Okay? Lydia: Okay. Henry: Okay. Wait, but there's no school bus for this school. Mrs Marble: Well, take the public bus. Lydia: The WHAT? Henry: But we've never taken the public bus before! Mrs Marble: So? This is the perfect chance to learn! Lydia: Ew. I am not taking a filthy bus! Henry: Pfft. Immature, am I right? Mrs Marble: Henry, just read the weird road signs and help your sister out. Lydia, you can choose to take the public bus to school or just walk there. Lydia: Ugh. Fine. I'll take the public bus. Mrs Marble: Good. You can help Henry look out for the right bus to take. Lydia: Wait, but he's older. He should know. Why do I have to help him? Marble gives Lydia a death glare. Lydia: Fine. You'd better not get us lost, Henry Marble! changes to Henry and Lydia arriving at school covered in mud, dirt, leaves and twigs. Students are laughing at them. Lydia: I can't believe I'm going to school on my first day looking like a dirt bag. This is all your fault, Henry Marble! Henry: Hey! We wouldn't be looking like this if you had helped during the bus ride! Lydia: Dude, you said you knew how to come to school. Henry: I meant your whining. That caused me to read the wrong bus numbers and also how we ended up in a jungle. Lydia: Convention. What is a jungle convention anyway? Henry: Something stupid. Lydia: We're never gonna live this down. We'll be the laughing stocks of the school forever! This was NOT how I planned my first day of school to be. girl the same age as Lydia walks up to them and talks to them. Zoey: Hey. My name is Zoey. You guys look like you could use some serious help. Are you new? Lydia: Yes. We need A LOT of help thanks to my stupid brother over here. And yes, we're new. Henry: Wait. Why do you care? Lydia: Just give us a second. pulls Henry aside to speak to him privately. Lydia: Dude. When a student here talks to you, don't ask stupid questions like that. Okay? Just go with the flow. She knows more about this school than we do. Henry: What can we do now? And, just, by the way, um, who are you? Zoey: I said my name is Zoey. What's yours? Henry: I'm Henry, she's Lydia, but why do you care? Lydia: Dude! Zoey: Oh, I'm a student ambassador, and it's my duty to welcome new students! Now. Follow my lead. I know I'm a student ambassador, but it doesn't mean I can't break SOME rules. Lydia: Wait. I thought school starts in 5 minutes. What are we gonna do now? Zoey: Relax. You guys are the new students. I'll speak for you. We're gonna go to the teacher's lounge to hose THIS all off. Henry: Why can't we just go to the bathroom? Zoey: We don't really have a shower room here, so... Lydia: Oh, okay. Zoey: Plus, Mrs Ridgen's new shampoo is really what makes it all worthwhile. And Ms Carla's body wash. Total killer. Henry: How did you become a student ambassador? Zoey: Nah. It's easy. The teachers here don't really care about what you do, as long as you don't pee on the floors in the halls, chew computer-flavoured gum, and throw peanut butter balls at the windows in the principal's office. Lydia: This school just surprised me even more. changes to a soaking wet Lydia and Henry after Zoey hosed them down in the teachers' lounge. Zoey: So, this went better than I expected! Lydia: We're soaking wet. Henry: It's like a fish puked on us. Lydia: You say that about everything. Zoey: Sorry, did I forget to mention that you had to have your own towels? Lydia: Seriously? How can you even be a student ambassador and forget that tiny detail? Henry: Let's just get to class. Lydia: Wait. janitor appears with a whole tray of bath towels for Henry and Lydia. Lydia: Thank you, janitor. Henry: Okay, I guess we need to dry up. Lydia: That's better. Also, where do we go next? Henry: To class, duh. Lydia: I'm not listening to the guy who caused us to be tardy. Zoey: Can I see your schedules? Henry: Thief! Lydia: Henry, she knows what she's doing. She can help us. and Lydia pass Zoey their schedules. Zoey: Okay, looks like Henry's in classroom 7-C, and you're supposed to be studying the Civil War now. You got your textbooks? Yup, those things weigh a ton. And Lydia, looks like you're in classroom 5-B. Hey, that's my classroom too! I'll show you up. We're studying the ancient history of Chinese porcelain. Henry, you got this, right? Here, just give your teacher this note from me. Henry a note. Henry: Yeah. Just find someone your own age and ditch me. No worries, I got this. Lydia: Bye, Henry. Hope you don't get lost. and Lydia appear right outside the door of classroom 5-B. Zoey: Okay, let's go in. Lydia: Wait! How do I look? Zoey: You look fine. Plus, no one's gonna notice. Lydia: Um, they will! It's the first golden rule of everyone's first day at someplace new. Always look pretty before you enter a room, or the embarrassment will haunt you for life! Believe me, I've been there. Zoey: Lydia! You're being ridiculous. Lydia: What if the students hate me? What if I trip the moment I enter the room? Zoey: Ok bye, I'm going in. Lydia: No no no! drags Lydia in. Mr Campbell: Wow, looks like we have trespassers. Zoey: Mr Campbell, I can explain. Lydia is a new student, and... Mr Campbell: You're half an hour late and you still want to waste time making up an excuse? Zoey: But, I- Mr Campbell: Do you want me to take away your student ambassador leadership? Zoey: Wait, I- Lydia: Um, Mr Campbell? It was me. And my brother. Mostly me. I caused my brother to get us lost on the way to school, and when we came, we ended up looking like a dead raccoon and a filthy possum mashed together in one. I know, I'm disgusting, go on and hate me. It wasn't Zoey's fault. I promise. She was just helping as a good student ambassador. So, I guess you can write me in for being tardy. Mr Campbell: You know what? I'll just let you off for today. Seeing you just stood up for a fellow classmate. Good work, Lilac! Lydia: It's Lydia. Mr Campbell: We'll work on that. takes a confident stride into the classroom, then stops suddenly. Lydia: Wait. Where do I sit? Mr Campbell: Well, you can sit next to either Zoey or Booger Burton. Lydia: I'm gonna go with Zoey. Zoey: Good choice. Burton: Ha! No one will sit with me because I'm disgusting! Mr Campbell: Burton, please put your booger back into your nose! shoves booger back into his nose and the whole class cringes. Burton: What? He told me to do it. Lydia: Wow. I didn't know there was someone else here with a worse reputation than I do. Zoey: Reputation? Don't worry about that here. We're all good. Lydia: Oh, good. Mr Campbell: Class, please flip your textbooks to page 38. changes to Henry looking lost outside a line of classrooms. Henry: I'm pretty sure it was this one. Or was it that one? boy who was at the nearby water fountain walks up to Henry. Bert: Hi, I'm Bert. Are you lost? Henry: No! Yes. Bert: Oh okay. So, what classroom are you supposed to be in now? Henry: Um, according to my schedule, classroom 7-C. Bert: That's my classroom! C'mon, I'll show you there. Henry: Thanks. My name's Henry. Bert: Hi Henry. I'm- Henry: Bert? Bert: Yeah. How'd you know? Henry: You already said that. Bert: Oh. Guess the joke's on me, then. changes to Henry and Bert standing outside classroom 7-C. Bert: The teacher's Mr Crowton. We're learning about the Civil War now. Boring! (makes a fake yawn) Henry: Yep. What's there to learn about history anyways? boys laugh and walk into the classroom. Bert: Hey, class! This is Henry. He's new. Just saw him outside. Mr Crowton: Mr Ram! Please don't waltz into class with a stranger. Bert: He's supposed to be here. Mr Crowton: Well, alright then. Take a seat. takes a seat next to a cute girl with Bert in front of him. Bert: Cool. You get to sit with Brency. Guys have been begging to sit with her ever since. Be careful. You might have just made some enemies. Henry: Wanna switch? I don't mind. Brency: Hi. I'm Brency. You're Henry, right? Henry: Then again, I don't mind. Mr Crowton: Bert, Henry, please stop talking, or I'll have to ask you to teach. (looks at Bert) And don't even think about teaching the class about how a flooded classroom would look like. I've got my eye on you. Henry: Got it. Bert: I was barely even talking! And by the way, the flooded classroom experiment is what every one of us here wants to do. Henry: You're a bad boy, aren't you? Bert: Please. Only goody-girls like Brency care about stupid school stuff. Henry: Don't you like her? Bert: I said guys have been begging to sit with her. Not me. I'm a dude. I don't like good girls. If you thought I was a bad boy, I wouldn't want to see what a good one is to you. Henry? You listening? Henry: Um, what? Yeah, um, totally! Hey, does Brency have a boyfriend? Bert: Just ask her yourself. Henry: No! It's awkward. Bert: Your loss. hits a pencil to the floor by mistake. Brency: Here, you dropped this. Henry: Thank you, uh, Brency! Brency: No problem. Henry: Uh, do you have a boyfriend? Just asking for a friend. (points to Bert) Brency: Um, no. Why, does Bert like me? Henry: How would I know that? Brency: You can ask him. Henry: Yes, but I'd rather not. Brency: Why? Aren't you two best friends? Henry: I'm not so sure... turns around Bert: Yup. We're just friends. Henry: Just friends. Brency: Oh, okay. Henry: Why were you asking? Bert: Um, Henry, can I talk to you later? Privately? Henry: Oh, okay. About what? Bert: Later. raises her hand. Mr Crowton: Yes, Miss Banks? Brency: Henry and Bert need to go to the washroom. Together. Mr Crowton: Is that so? Brency: Yep. Henry's new, and Bert wants to show him to the loo. Henry: What? Bert: Um, Brency's right. Good day, sir. Mr Crowton: Fine. You have 15 minutes. Crowton continues teaching. Brency: (whispering to Bert and Henry) You're welcome. Henry: Thanks! Bert: Uh, yeah, let's go before Mr Crowton suspects anything. and Henry walk out of the classroom. Henry: I don't really need to pee. Why are we doing this? Bert: Dude, Brency was...helping us. Yeah, that seems so weird so say out loud. Henry: Ain't she the best? Bert: That's what I wanted to speak to you about? Henry: Huh? Bert: Dude. I used to like that girl. Back when she was, well, you know, more of a bad girl. Henry: Brency? A bad girl? No way. Bert: Yes way. I've known that girl since kindergarten. She wasn't always like this. She has really changed, you know. Henry: Changed? Bert: Yeah. And I really miss the old her. When she wasn't scared to talk to anybody, hug anybody or even kiss anybody. Henry: Really? Bert: You want that kiss, don't you? Henry: More than anything. Turns out cradling the pencil she picked up for me wasn't good enough. But is she really willing to kiss anybody? Bert: When we were 13, I confessed my feelings to her, when she was still bad, of course. Then she started being...nice. I don't know why, but then I didn't really have feelings for her, and so I told her that, and well, she got a little mad. Henry: Is she still mad at you? Bert: I'm not sure. Don't wanna find out either. Henry: Hey, we should probably get back to class, you know. Bert: To kiss Brency? Henry: You caught me. Let's go. Bert: Just a word of warning. She may have changed now and is not willing to kiss anybody. Henry: What do I do first? Bert: Breath spray. You got some? Henry: No. Bert: Whatever. The bad Brency won't mind. Next, just grab her collar and well, just don't give her time to react and push her lips against yours. Or if she resists, just pull her head. I don't know. We've only kissed once by accident. Henry: I think I'm ready. Bert: Let's go in. and Henry enter the classroom. Henry: There's my honey. Bert: Remember. She might not want this. and Henry sit down. Henry: Okay. Here goes nothing. Bert: I'll look away. taps Brency's arm. Brency: Yes? Henry: Is my face nice? To answer that question, you'll have to look at my face. Brency: Sure. You have a nice ...face? pulls Brency towards him forcefully and they kiss. Brency: Dude. What was that? Henry: A spark. Brency: Ew! Henry: Wait, what? You didn't like it? Brency: I hated it! turns around. Henry: Oh, gosh. Bert: Life doesn't always work out for everybody. Brency: He kissed me! Bert: I know. Brency: It was disgusting! And his breath wasn't even that good! Bert: What did it smell like? Brency: Burnt broccoli. Bert: Yuck! Mr Crowton: Miss Banks, looks like you've joined the talkative boys and their useless conversation. And I thought you were way better than that. Pay attention or I'll make you switch seats. Bert: Ugh. This is the moment where Brency probably apologises to Barfton and pays attention. Like the goody goody girl she is. Brency: Will I? (stands up) Yo, Crowton! I wasn't done talking to these two awesome boys. Haven't you ever been taught that you should never interrupt a conversation? Plus, their conversations aren't useless, but your lessons sure are. We've been learning nothing else but the Civil War for 5 weeks. We're done here. Hey! Those who agree with me, stand up and chant, " No more Crowton! No more Civil War!" Go on, all of you! (Henry, Bert and the rest of the class stand up and join in) Yes, see, that's what I'm talking about! Good work, guys! Mr Crowton: I quit! And I mean it this time. Crowton leaves the classroom. Students are throwing chairs and worksheets around and the classroom is a mess. Brency: Wow! I don't know why I ever stopped. I feel so alive! Who knows how much I've been missing out on? Being bad is so much more fun than being good. OMG! (grabs Bert and kisses him for about 4 seconds). Bert: Wow. That was nice. Brency: I know, right? (Brency kisses Henry for about 2 seconds.) Meh, you don't know how to kiss. Henry: Hehe. skips out of the classroom. Bert and Henry: She's on fire. Category:Transcripts